Lately, inside this mind of mine I’ve been asking myself one fundamental question. Do the people I care most for know that I love them? It seems like a question that would be easy to answer but the truth of the matter is I’m not so sure that they do. Sure, they understand that I’m there for them but do they KNOW that I love them? I’m not the easiest person to understand because I’m not the type of person who often wears my emotions on my face or on my sleeves until I’m “in my feelings”. That has never been me; but I do my best in showing people I love them through my actions.
Still, I also understand that actions alone are never enough and that words must be meaningful and words must be said that convey the same language that our actions do and that’s hard to do at times. I’m not one to make excuses for why something isn’t being done that should be done because I truly believe that if you know something needs to be done or changed then it’s up to you to make it happen. Even in a highly spiritual person such as myself I too get lost in translation from time to time in my attempts at expressing how I feel about others. I too, become isolated in my world and tend to forget that others need me and my energy that I bring into the world.
I struggle with balance for this particular pommel horse because I’m the type of person who gets high on my own energy and very rarely need to come up for air to connect with other people. Like many things in my emotional life, this need comes in spurts so when it does rear its beautiful head I make it top priority in my life and the last two months this need has risen. So, I’ve been reaching out to all my friends and family to let them know that I love them. But another truth about this is that it’s also something that I benefit from because we all need to feel loved and appreciated. To deny this fact is to deny your human characteristics.
I was speaking with my older sister yesterday and she didn’t want to bother me with news that she thought I would think was negative; but she was concerned for someone in our family. She said ” I don’t want to bother you with negative stuff because I know you live a positive life and that you’re just getting off from work, but I’m worried and concerned and I don’t know what else to do”.
She has said this more than once and each time it hurts me just a bit. Because my sister isn’t the only family member who has said similar things to me; my mom being one of them. Which means, something that I’m doing leads them to believe that I don’t want to hear their pain and that saddens me because I’m an empath and I often take on the pain of others. I often cry when just talking to other people who I know are hurting. So, before I gave my advice about the situation she was concerned about I said the following.
“Please understand that you guys are my world and that I love you tremendously. Please know that I would give all of you anything that you need if it’s within my power. Never feel like you can’t talk to me about what’s going on in your life, our mom’s life or our sister’s life. I said “At some point a person can only continue to speak the words of encouragement for a certain amount of time before they feel it’s falling on deaf ears, especially if there isn’t any action being done to change the situation” “I love you, I love mom and I love our sister but you guys have to make a decision to stop making excuses for why you allow certain things in your life. We don’t have to be anywhere that we don’t want to be. You three want to be loved so bad that you keep settling for less than what you deserved and that’s unacceptable to me, so I don’t say anything else about it because I don’t have to live that life, I have to live my life and continue to work on changing the things I no longer want in my life and work towards the things I do want”
I then continued on listening to what was going on. I ended up spending an hour and a half on the phone between three people trying to help them see the bigger picture but I made sure that all three of them understood that I was in their corner but that something had to change in order to find some form of happiness and peace. My friends have been giggling at me lately because I’ve been on them about spending time with me over the last two months. For some reason, I just feel like it’s important and maybe it’s for my own sake but whatever the reason, I’ve been trying to make sure that the people I know, know that I love them, even if we don’t speak every day and don’t see each other every year, every month, every week.
Letting someone know that they are important, can go along the way in helping them come out of something that they are struggling with. There will always be a lot going on in the world that makes it seem like there isn’t enough time in the day but obviously God thought that 24 hours was plenty of enough time to get things done. It’s up to us to take ownership and responsibility for our roles in people’s lives. We can’t always just sit back and hope it all works out. We all need help from time to time. Truthfully, not many people are telling each other the truth about what is hurting them. Too many people are pretending that all is okay when in truth they are secretly hurting. Authentically speaking; it doesn’t have to be that way. If you are hurting or struggling with certain things in your life, stop pretending that you’re superman and superwoman all the time, even they had something that made them weak for moments at a time.
If you only have 10 minutes today, use that 10 minutes to call someone to tell them you love them. Ask to see your friends and tell them to their face that they are loved and that you need them in your life; because we all know that we pretend that we don’t need any help but let’s remember; Kryptonite comes in many different forms and sometimes you need superfriends to save you from the struggle and that my friend may just be enough to tilt the scale from lonely and depressed to loved and happy…..
“The only way to change the world is to quit thinking it’s a job for Superman. Real power lies in your own hands..”
― Richelle E. Goodrich