One of the biggest issues that I see that causes broken relationships is often the lack of humility by either one person or all people in the relationship. It’s often misunderstood as a weakness, almost on the same level of one being meek. But being meek doesn’t make you weak, in fact, many spiritual practices believe that a person who can show you meekness aka submissiveness is a person you want to include in your life. Not because they are easily controlled but because they are easy to get along with and can show you a side of yourself that you never knew existed. We are often taught to fight, fight fight and to not let people push you around, but there are times when fighting is not the answer.
Being meek can allow a situation to diffuse from the high negative energy that encompasses the situation which allows for a better communication later on. This is why having humility is even higher up in the spiritual world than most characteristics. Buddha stated “” Whenever I interact with someone, May I view myself as the lowest amongst all, And, from the very depths of my heart, Respectfully hold others as superior.
The Bible says in Philippians 2:3-5: “Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Care about them as much as you care about yourselves and think the same way that Christ Jesus thought”. As well as saying a very well famous verse from the bible Matthew 23:12: “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted”.
In Taoism it is stated “He that humbles himself shall be preserved entire. He that bends shall be made straight. He that is empty shall be filled. He that is worn out shall be renewed. He who has little shall succeed. He who has much shall go astray.” In The Holy Quran it is stated “The servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say words of peace.”
In Hinduism, Mahatma Ghandi stated ““The seeker after truth should be humbler than the dust. The world crushes the dust under its feet, but the seeker after truth should so humble himself that even the dust could crush him.” -Mahatma Ghandi
Side note if I may; I try to explain this all the time. Every religion is speaking about the same things and about the same God but people find it hard to believe because they feel the need to be right in their belief but this is just one example of many that can be found with a little research, but I digress. As you can see, humility is not weakness, or embarrassing. I’ve learned this first hand as I’ve grown in my spiritual journey and I recognize how much stronger I have become as a spiritual being and in understanding human relationships because of it. Humility is the opposite of arrogance, pridefulness and being right and it’s much more powerful than any other trait that we can possess other than love. In my personal dating life, I look for women who can be humble just like myself because I know that a woman who is humble is a woman who can keep pushing me to be a better person. If she cannot be humble we cannot be. In my friendships, I look for individuals who can also do the same and I for them.
I encourage you to do the same with your circle, but not until you yourself are able to be humble. Learning to be humble does not mean that we are not important, it does not mean not being able to get your point across. I think we all know that we should view ourselves as priority number 1 when it comes to living our lives. We all should know that we should make sure our perspectives are often understood, but one who does not know how to be humble will never understand when they are causing division instead of unison. Being humble is much easier than loving unconditionally but they both just require an open heart and mind.
I try to be humble in most cases; meaning, placing the other person’s feelings and emotions above my own but the trick is learning to not allow other people to mistreat me because they see my humbleness as a weakness. This will be the same for you if you are trying to learn how to be humble. Advice for peace, never be too big to apologize, never be too big to look your friends, family and partner in their eyes and say what they need to hear to feel heard but never forget to put your foot down when they are pushing your limits and taking advantage of your humbleness. Remember, that people only do what we allow them to do. If you feel taken advantage of, it’s because you either are allowing them to do so or you have misdiagnosed the situation and never asked the correct questions that would give you peace of mind.
There are billions of human’s living in this world, and thousands of them live right in your vicinity. Human relationships are here for a reason. They are here for many reason’s and a few of those are to help us feel loved, to help us grow and to help us understand parts of ourselves that we don’t understand. Look around at your relationships and if you have very few people in your life that lift you up, then you are doing something wrong. If you look back at your past relationships and you aren’t in touch with them at all? You are doing something wrong. This is not to say that you need to have a lot of people around you but if more than one person says similar things about us in a negative like, then we are doing something wrong. And chances are, it’s because we have placed our own feelings, emotions and thoughts above other people we come in contact with all the time.
Being humble is important to me and it should be important to you as well if you are trying to be a better person in life. We can’t always be right and we can’t always be wrong but we can always be on the same page and having humility allows us to listen more openly. Take a look at your broken relationships and ask, was I humble? If you weren’t, reach out to that person and apologize and try to bridge the gap between the two perspectives. This is the only way human relationships can forge ahead. We all must learn to be humble because the loving relationships that we desire, require it. If you want to be a better version of you, learn that humility is a virtue.
“Pride must die in you, or nothing of heaven can live in you.”
― Andrew Murray, Humility