Behind the Thin Dark Veil

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”
― Wayne W. Dyer

Imagine for a second that there is a veil over your face, not just any type of veil but a very dark veil that only allows light to come through depending on the angle in which you are looking through the veil. This veil is thin but not removable because of tradition and you walk the same path every day being led by someone or people in order to keep you from hurting yourself.  Every once and awhile you tilt your head towards the light so that you can see shapes and figures a little better. You think you know who is who, you think you know what is what based on your perception of what is real.

Imagine that you lived your entire life with this veil over your face and then one night you go to sleep and the next morning when you awake your veil has been removed. You then walk the same path by yourself WITHOUT that same veil. Do you think everything will look the same as before? Or  will your perception of reality be forever changed?

Seems drastic but this is how most of us see reality, from behind a thin dark veil. Our perception is often shaped by our own experiences in life and most continue to walk the same path each day without any new light being let in. Many people say “perception is reality” but I ask, is it the true reality of what is or is perception deception? Perception is defined as “a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression”

When someone does something that you like or dislike, your brain connects that action with a past “mental impression”,that then tells you how to react to the action being done or said. Yes, It’s possible that the person is identical to that past memory but it’s also possible that they are not. The only way to be certain that they are or are not is to remove the veil from your perspective and see it for what really is and vice versa.

The biggest reason for broken relationships(intimate and non-intimate) is improper understanding of reality, basically both people seeing life through their own thin dark veil. A truly at peace being will not only see it from their perspective but others as well. A truly at peace person will reach out and say “can we talk about this because I don’t understand”.

This same process can be used for all relationships, even in business relationships. A simple “I’m only seeing this one way but I want to understand” will give you and hopefully the other person a peaceful and understanding resolution. I recommend that you always try to see things from another perspective before  judging the situation in its entirety. Don’t let the damaged corner of a masterpiece affect the whole picture.

This thin dark veil exist in all areas of life. Think about it, what are some of the perceptions that the world would like you to believe is true?

  • That beautiful is skinny
  • That money makes you happy
  • That beautiful hair is straight hair and long hair
  • That God loves certain people more than other people
  • That marriage is for man and woman (because God said so)
  • That all men are cheaters
  • That all women are gold diggers
  • That some people should be more privileged than others
  • That the poor don’t want to work

These are just a few of the things that people have been led to believe as reality and unfortunately many are living their life behind a veil forced upon them. But like most things in our lives that hinder us, it’s all in the mind, a “mental impression” of what we think is absolute or reality “a thing that exists in fact, having previously only existed in one’s mind”. We can be better than the horse that think’s its trapped even though it’s only secured to a plastic chair.

When you find yourself in conflict with perception and reality, ask yourself a simple question. “Am I seeing the reality of the situation or am I seeing through the dark veil placed there by my mental impressions? In truth, the answer will always be that you are seeing it through your veil because that’s all that you can do until the conversation is had. Once that conversation is had or at least attempted all that you can do is accept it and find peace in it. It’s not about being right or wrong {because both people will feel that they are right} but instead finding the center where both people or all people feel understood.

Friends, it’s not about what we know {because we all are experts in our life} and it’s not about what we think we know, it’s about what we don’t know.  You don’t know why someone feels the way they do, you don’t know why people do what they do. and we may never know why the world operates the way that it does; but we can KNOW how to approach the situations that we are presented with. There can be peace in the unknown when we accept it with love and openness. Talk less, listen more and repeat until you understand or at least until your veil has been removed.

Here’s an interesting story about perception that I ran across today.

“I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. I was a bit early for the train. I’d gotten the time of the train wrong. I went to get myself a newspaper to do the crossword, and a cup of coffee and a packet of cookies. I went and sat at a table. I want you to picture the scene. It’s very important that you get this very clear in your mind. Here’s the table, newspaper, cup of coffee, packet of cookies. There’s a guy sitting opposite me, perfectly ordinary-looking guy wearing a business suit, carrying a briefcase. It didn’t look like he was going to do anything weird. What he did was this: he suddenly leaned across, picked up the packet of cookies, tore it open, took one out, and ate it.

Now this, I have to say, is the sort of thing the British are very bad at dealing with. There’s nothing in our background, upbringing, or education that teaches you how to deal with someone who in broad daylight has just stolen your cookies. You know what would happen if this had been  Los Angeles. There would have very quickly been gunfire, helicopters coming in, CNN, you know… But in the end, I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do: I ignored it. And I stared at the newspaper, took a sip of coffee, tried to do a clue in the newspaper, couldn’t do anything, and thought, What am I going to do?

In the end I thought Nothing for it, I’ll just have to go for it, and I tried very hard not to notice the fact that the packet was already mysteriously opened. I took out a cookie for myself. I thought, That settled him. But it hadn’t because a moment or two later he did it again. He took another cookie. Having not mentioned it the first time, it was somehow even harder to raise the subject the second time around. “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice…” I mean, it doesn’t really work.

We went through the whole packet like this. When I say the whole packet, I mean there were only about eight cookies, but it felt like a lifetime. He took one, I took one,  he took one, I took one. Finally, when we got to the end, he stood up and walked away. Well, we exchanged meaningful looks, then he walked away, and I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back.

A moment or two later the train was coming in, so I tossed back the rest of my coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper were my cookies. The thing I like particularly about this story is the sensation that somewhere in England there has been wandering around for the last quarter-century a perfectly ordinary guy who’s had the same exact story, only he doesn’t have the punch line.”

That’s a funny story but it’s so very true about life. You never know what the situation is until you get down to the real answer. Instead of assuming and acting upon the assumption, we should simply ask the right questions to avoid the awkward situations. What has happened to sitting down and having a face to face without arguing? There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with each other; we all are different in one way or another. Its  not the differences that separate us, it is our thinking that we are right that does so. It is our reaction to the situation that either brings us closer or pushes us away.

Perception versus Reality, what do you really see behind the thin dark veil…..

  “The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.”

― Robertson DaviesTempest-Tost

 

horse

 

2 thoughts on “Behind the Thin Dark Veil

  1. I am behind and catching up with your posts, this one, like the others, are wonderful. I thoroughly enjoy starting my next day with a new outlook on things. Your writing makes me question and change how I think, for the better. Thank you for that.

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