“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
There are two things in our lives that we all most assuredly want before our spirits move on to infinite bliss. Those two things are love and happiness. We all want this. You want this and it is likely that you will spend the majority of your life trying to find one or the other and if you’re unfortunate, both. Those who typically spend an entire lifetime looking for both only spend this amount of time searching because they have failed to understand the number one rule for finding either. Start your search within.
No one likes to conform to rules, laws or regulations that prevent them from achieving something that they feel they need, want or deserve, however, when it comes to finding Happiness, this rule of starting your search from within is the only way to get to what you need, want or deserve. Many people begin their search from an outside source but before we can question everything about life we must question everything about ourselves. And not just question those things but get truthful answers that only come from studying the subject. Let me ask you, what good is it in getting answers to the questions if you don’t understand how the answers came to be?
Happiness, what is it exactly? Can it be defined in to simplistic definitions to fit all? Or is happiness different for each person? We can only speak from our own experiences when it comes to trying to comprehend exactly what happiness is. If we’re lucky, we’ve come across people who have shared their knowledge with us along the way that gives us a little more insight in to finding it and keeping it. I’m a firm believer that true happiness can never be found solely by ourselves. We must have a combination of self guidance and have an influence from an outside source to lead us in the correct direction for ourselves.
Ultimately an outside source will never be able to give us happiness. Our true and authentic happiness has to come from within. Like many of the things in life that we seek in the spiritual realm, happiness can never be given, it must be sought. If you were to look up the definition of happiness it would say this: “the state of being happy”
Well, that’s not much to go on is it? Why would something that has such a huge impact on human’s have such a bland explanation as to what it is? I mean, what exactly is the state of being happy? Is that smiling every day? Is that having no worries? Is that doing an activity? The reason you won’t find a more “sophisticated definition” like “having a strong feeling of or showing annoyance, displeasure, or hostility; full of anger” which is a definition of angry is because, happiness is determined by each individual. No one should be able to tell you what happiness is but someone should be able to suggest things to do in order for you to find it.
Are you happy? It’s a simple question but it’s a hard question to answer. Most people are going to give you the “cliché” answer, the surface level answer. “Yes I’m very happy”. But then, when you ask them why they are happy, they begin to mention the things that they have or have been able to accomplish in their lives so far. They give answers such as “I have a great job”, “I have good credit”, “I have a loving husband/wife” , “I have a nice house”, “I have my undergraduate’s degree”, “I’ve accomplished more than most people my age”
Is this happiness or are these things extensions of happiness? The easiest way to answer this is with a simple question. What would happen to your happiness if all of these things you have were taken away? Chances are, unless you have reached a spiritual level of understanding in your personal life you would no longer “be happy”. Your state of being happy would be compromised. All of the things that we have should only add to what already is. We should never become dependent on something outside of ourselves to determine our happiness.
Happiness shouldn’t be fleeting, it should always be. This is not to say that there won’t be days that you feel a little down, because there will be. Are you searching for true happiness? Let’s talk about Finding it, Keeping it and Sharing it.
Our true self, will always be seen when we allow the curtains to be pulled away and when we are finally exposed for the world to see, the things that are being seen or to put in another way, the energy that emanate’s from us is what comes from within us. Meaning, we cannot be anything that isn’t already inside of us. So when people say that “Jay is always positive” or “Jay is always kind” or “I just love being around Jay” it’s because it exist inside of me. If you are searching for happiness it starts with changing the energies that exist inside of you.
The fastest way (which is often the hardest way), is to truly sit aside time for you to meditate on the area’s of your “being” that need to be retooled. These are area’s in your life that when you look at them, it bothers you. If there are characteristic’s about yourself that you dislike then chances are other people dislike them as well. And while you should never care what others think about you, you should care that it bothers you. If you want to be better you have to do better but in order to do better you have to understand where you need to start.
Ask yourself one fundamental question. What is happiness to you? Keep in mind that it shouldn’t be anything material. Write down what that happiness is and then figure out what it’s going to take for you to begin moving towards that vision. Happiness, like love is never as complicated as we make it to be. Finding it just requires breaking yourself a part and reassembling yourself with new parts that fit better in the newly designed model.
Once you find your happiness (whatever that is to you), you need to know how to keep it. Keeping happiness can be challenging because there are many forces outside of you that can drain your energy from you. These outside forces will never be able to take your happiness from you but they can cause you to lose sight of it. Once you begin to lose sight of it is when you run the risk of losing the happiness that you have found.
In order to keep your happiness, it is encouraged that you be mindful of the people who you call your friends and family. It is better to have only one person in your circle who uplifts you instead of ten people who prey on you at different moments all the time. The many can overtake the few, remember that. If there are people who are not aligned with your vibration, remove yourself from being around them consistently. Stay around the positive energy and kick rocks to the negative energy. There is no place in your life for negativity. EVER!
People are the main source for creating unhappiness in people’s lives because people often want what they don’t have and we allow them to feed off of us. So, because you allow it they prey on your positive energy in hopes of getting a little of what you have but they will never be able to sustain the energy they take from you because they are operating on a different frequency (lower) than yours. I also encourage you to get to a place in your life where nothing outside you can control you or your energy. This goes for anything outside of you. Focus your happiness on the one thing you can control and that’s your entire being, meaning, your mind, body and spirit.
What else can you do? Well, do activities that are aligned with what you envision your happiness to be. Basically do activities that reconnect you with the balance you are seeking in your life. I’ve found that by having balance in my life has helped me to remain in the state of being happy. These activities will be different for everyone but there are some activities that will always help you reconnect with the source. These are the two things that you should work on at first in order to keep the happiness in your life. Once you master this, you can move on to adding more if needed. Remember, that sometimes less is truly more.
You’re probably saying, “you just said don’t allow people to feed on my energy”. You’re right, I did, but I said the negative people who aren’t on the same frequency as yourself. However, there will be many people who come in to your life that truly need the energy that you are emanating. Everyone that comes into your life or should I say everyone that we allow into our lives are not predators or parasites, some are like-minded spiritual extensions of yourself who are seeking growth. And hopefully some of the people you’ve allowed in to your circle of positive living are people who too are giving you the positive energy that you need when you aren’t feeling quite up to par.
We should never be selfish when it comes to happiness(peace) and love. We should always share these things with people who appreciate it. The question that I hear most people asking is, does everyone deserve our love though? And the answer to this, is YES! How can someone who may be seeking the joy and happiness that you have, ever find it if there isn’t someone to show them that not only does it exist but how to get it. Everyone deserves AT FIRST. When it is not appreciated or taken advantage of in the negative sense, then that is when you remove yourself from that person and situation.
In truth you, you would never be able to not share what you have found. You can’t stop being something that you now are. So you unconsciously share these things with everyone around you. So the only way to not share your happiness with someone is to remove yourself from them. But, just because someone didn’t appreciate what you shared then doesn’t mean they won’t later. Never be closed-minded to think that people can’t change. Aren’t you? Didn’t you? Be smarter about sharing but never selfish.
Part of the many reason’s you exist on this earth is to help other spirits remember who they are so that they can experience happiness while on earth. How can you help them remember if you never share what you know to be possible? I enjoy sharing my energy with everyone. I enjoy people being comfortable around me and wanting to feed off my energy, if I can help give them a bit of light in a world of darkness then I want to be that person. I understand though when my energy is low and when I need to pull away and build my energy back up.
When I feel this way I remove myself from even my closest friends. They may not understand it but they respect it and that is all that I can ask of them and that’s all you can ask of yours. Don’t be afraid to share just know when it’s time to pull away.
Your happiness has to start with learning how to control your mind. Controlling what you think and believe will ultimately help you control your actions. Your actions are often a result of what you’ve been thinking about or feeling and without proper examination before the action, it can lead you in a direction opposite of where you are trying to go. If you want to be happy, stop yourself from doing the actions that go against the vision you have. Like anything else, it’s going to take practice and what is practice? Repetitive actions.
Happiness…..a state of being happy. Define it for yourself and go forth but remember
“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”
― Abraham Lincoln