Where Growth Happens

I’ve Neglected You (It is what it was)

It’s been one month, two weeks and one day since I’ve last been in touch with you. I would apologize but I truly don’t feel sorry for not being in touch. I take that back, I do only to the extent that I need to be consistent with my practice of writing and since it’s been quite some time that I’ve enlisted your help, I feel sorry. So if I must apologize, I apologize to myself which is a direct reflection of my lack of practice and of course, you, my blog.

It has made me wonder though, how often do we neglect the things we say we need in our lives? And in that neglect should we feel bad about it? For example, if we say we need a partner in our lives but neglect to do our part in the process, should we feel bad about not yet having a partner? If we say we want to lose fifty pounds but neglect to be conscious of the calories for two weeks, should we feel bad about it?

I tend to not feel bad about the neglect because I’ve found that when we focus on what we haven’t been doing we tend to beat ourselves DOWN over it instead of accepting it as is(was) and simply  start regrouping and begin again until it becomes a new habit or the way of life we envisioned. In my spiritual growth I’ve learned that this “feel bad” RE-action has little to no benefit in it for us. Let us understand however that, we NEED to be able to differentiate between neglecting what we want vs neglecting what we need.  We often confuse the two because they are at times difficult to identify and separate. What is want? And what is need?

Want is defined as “a desire for something”, “a lack or deficiency of something” or as “having a desire to possess or do (something); wish for”. If we neglect what we want does it harm us?  If you want to get a new pair of shoes because you feel you don’t have enough of them and you neglect to do so, does it hurt you? Should you feel bad?

Need is defined as “require (something) because it is essential or very important” or “circumstances in which something is necessary, or that require some course of action; necessity”. If we neglect what we need does it harm us? If you need to get a new pair of shoes because you have a job interview coming up and you need to look the part and you neglect to go get some, does it hurt you? Should you feel bad?

That’s the difference between wanting and needing. Neglecting the want won’t necessarily hurt us but neglecting the need can.  As I mentioned before, I tend to not feel bad about it either way but I do take responsibility for not having what I need and at some point, deciding to become aware of the neglective state I’ve been in  and I regroup but accept it as it is(was). So here I am writing, because  I’ve been neglecting my blog and I NEED to write because every word that I write makes me that much better in my need to become a successful writer.

Have you been neglecting something or someone who you need in your life? Maybe you aren’t even aware of the neglect, maybe you see it as a want instead of the need that it is. I encourage you to apply the same scenario that I gave above with the area’s in your life that you are questioning or wanting/needing to improve or change.  Do you want to be a better friend or do you need to be a better friend? Do you want to be a better Christian or do you need to be a better Christian? Do you want to have a better sex life or do you need to have a better sex life? Do you want to find love or do you need to find love? And most importantly, have you been neglecting these area’s?

If you have, don’t feel bad about it. Our lives can get complicated, busy and at times downright overwhelming. It is up to us to be aware of when this is happening and move forward from there. There is no need to feel bad about it unless you choose to continue to neglect your needs. The best way to move forward when you realize your neglect is harming you is to accept the fact that everything prior to that present moment is unchangeable.It is what it is but I like to say it is what it was.  It is what it is means that you’re allowing it as it is in the present moment, still giving it life. It is what it was means you are accepting it as it was; in the past and you’re moving on.

So this is me regrouping, this me taking one more step at getting better at my craft, this is me taking one more step in helping millions, this is me not feeling bad about neglecting my blog..it is what it was and it will never always be what it is unless I allow it. And if you and I fail to achieve consistency in the area’s that we need to ? This is me reminding you that there is no need to feel bad about this…….

unless you plan on doing nothing about it.

 

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Categorised in: Reflection, Spiritual Awareness

2 Responses »

  1. Wants vs Needs! Seems like while everyone else has a Good Angel / Bad Angel on their shoulder, I have a Wants Angel / Needs Angel when it comes to material things!

    I feel like I have been neglecting some friends but I don’t feel bad because with them its like a one way friendship. It seems they don’t ever consider picking up the phone to call or at least sending a text to see how i’m doing. So no, I don’t feel bad.

    I do need to work on some other departments i’ve been neglecting, i’m getting old 🙂

  2. I love that. It is what it was indeed! -Janelle

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