Have you ever felt like you were losing a friend and you weren’t sure why? Or maybe you think you know but don’t feel as if you should be the one who reaches out to ask “what’s going on”. You don’t talk anymore and when you do the conversation is no longer the same? You don’t see each other anymore and there is no effort from the other side.
I’ve been feeling that way about someone who I considered a great friend of mines. I feel like something or someone has wedged itself between the friendship. I can’t prove it but I can feel it. Even though I’ve reached out to try to see them, the invitation is rarely accepted. I’ve never been one to force myself into anyone’s life if its not warranted but something about this feeling towards the friend truly bothers me.
Part of me says to dial the number to find out what it is that has wedged us a part but the other part of me says just let it go. I truly don’t know what it is, it could be that they are simply dating someone and don’t have time to spend with friends. But then I see or hear about them hanging out with other people, so then I think, well maybe its only certain friends they want to be around.
Which is more likely the reason than anything that I can come up with, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t bother me. I’ve been realizing that it does bother me but it bothers me more than it should because I feel I’m losing a good friend. People come and people go, Its easier to let them go when you aren’t invested in the friendship but when you are, you tend to fight for it a little harder.
I have a conundrum because I want to fight for it but I don’t feel that I should be the only one fighting for it. So I do what I do best, accept it for what it is. I’m having to accept something that I do not wish to accept but I will if I must. It takes two to make any type of relationship work so I won’t put the blame on to the friend whom I’m losing, I’m sure they feel the distant from me as well.
I don’t know the wedge but it’s there and it may be time to simply let the friendship go its separate way. It was a good journey while it lasted if that’s the case but part of me hopes that whatever it is that has caused the rift between the friend and I, well I just hope that it’s for a good reason.
Until then, I have to keep meditating on how I feel about the situation before I make a final decision for myself. Because mending broken relationships takes a lot of work and effort. I don’t feel that it’s worth putting in the effort if the other person doesn’t want it in their life to begin with. For me personally, I feel like “someone” has become that wedge but I simply don’t know.
The main reason I haven’t picked up the phone to find out what the wedge is because I’m not sure what direction I need to go in. It all could be nothing really. It could be just me just feeling jealous. It could be me assuming that something is wrong when it is not. They could simply be in a different place in their life at the moment. The entire situation needs to be understood from a personal standpoint before proceeding.
If you have a wedge in a relationship that you don’t quite understand. Take a step back to evaluate all angles and perspectives before you make an accusation, before you make a snap judgement. That’s what I’m going to continue to do and if the feeling doesn’t go away I will make the next move, as you should as well.