Where Growth Happens

Dating Outside The Box(Jungle Fever Revisited)

I watched an oldie but goodie a few weeks ago called “Jungle Fever”. If you haven’t watched or heard of this movie then you must have been either living on another planet or recently born in the last 10 years if you are either of these things then you might want to go back to your planet or ask your parents about the movie because you might not understand it…

But the movie got me to thinking about my life and how I’ve been approaching the dating world.

A quick summary of the movie”Jungle Fever” is Spike Lee’s term for unhealthy sexual attraction between the races – for relationships based on stereotypes. Too often, he believes, when blacks and whites go to bed with one another, they are motivated, not by love or affection, but by media-based myths about the sexual allure of the other race”.

I’ve been single for well over 2 years now (but who’s counting) and I’m starting to think that it just might be time for me to start dating outside the box. In my younger days(and i’m still young btw) I dated many different races without hesitancy. Asian, Hispanic, Caucasian and black women.

When you are in your early twenties you have to explore what is out there right? So I did but as I got closer to my 30’s I decided that it was time to dial in to what exactly what kind of woman I wanted in my life(as if anyone before 30 really knows). I should say that I’m 100% okay with inter-racial dating and marriage.

However I’ve always wanted to have a black wife so the last few years I’ve pretty much have only been wanting to date black women. I find black women to be beautiful queens who I would do anything for. But as I reflect over the last 2-3 years I’m starting to feel like that maybe as a black man I’m no longer seen as a king in their eyes.

And thats fine if white men are what is trending right now. Maybe black men aren’t  trendy anymore because how we are portrayed in the media. But maybe its also the retaliation from  black women feeling like black men are choosing white women over them. It seems like everyone is falling for the “grass is greener on the other side” but I’ve tried for awhile to fall in love with my black queens but with no success(as of yet).

I have no intention to stop dating black women but for the first time in a very long time I’m starting to think that I need to think outside of the box with whom I date. What is even more intriguing since moving here to the Tampa Bay area is that I’ve been getting way more love from white women than I have black women.

I’ve always told my friends that love has no color and that we as people should allow love to exist no matter the persons color, race or belief but have always been pretty resistant against dating white women. Not that I have anything against white women I simply wanted a black wife. But it makes me wonder.

What are white women seeing in me that the black women aren’t? Why are white women being more receptive of who I am more so than the black women I’ve dated or approached? We want what we want and seem to overlook what we need so I wonder…Is a good black man not as needed as a good white man in the eyes of black women?

Other inter-racial dating exist and I’m not trying to disregard their relationship but this is my blog and I’m speaking of my personal experiences..so you other inter-racial lovers of other cultures will just have to endure this white and black thing…this Jungle Fever blog.

This brings up a fascinating question. Have the majority of the black men that has decided to date white women decided upon this because they too weren’t feeling loved by black women? Were they too getting more love from white women than their own black women? Maybe they got fed up with the turn downs and decided to go with the yes.

No one really knows but from what I know from talking to the people who date opposite of their own race have made some type of comment in a negative manner towards what they don’t date (and I’ve made a few myself). I’m not giving up on having a black family but as I’m getting older and look at the bigger picture I’m starting to think its time to revisit the jungle that is inter-racial dating.

ahhhhhhh “It shouldn’t be this hard”  lol..read that blog entry I wrote. Oh well here’s to doing things differently than we normally do in order to get where we need to go. All I want is to be respected, loved and appreciated in the dating world and it seems at the moment it is coming from where I least expected and I’m becoming more open to the possibility of it all

hmmmmm Its a crazy jungle out there and I’m not saying I’m Mufasa  but dammit I ain’t Scar either..lmbo. Can’t I be Simba and find a Nala (Lion King)

But seriously….its an issue for me for a few reasons that would take to long to blog about in this entry but for the first time in my life I’m SERIOUSLY considering dating  white women and it has nothing to do with their whiteness but everything to do with finding pure love…

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1 Response »

  1. Black men are always trending! LOL – There are plenty of willing black queens in Virginia that would date you.

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