I’m starting to wonder if there ever comes a moment in ones life that they decide that no more knowledge is needed. Or if there is a moment in life where a person realizes that they will never get the answers to the questions that they seek.
What does that moment feel like? At what age does that moment happen? And does it get better or worse from that moment on? Is there sadness in that moment or is there peace in that moment?
I’m beginning to think that the real answers only come after death. I’m not one to normally think about death because for me death is nothing more than another action in motion. It is not something that I nor anyone else can do about it. I stopped concerning myself with things that are out of my control awhile ago, worrying about death serves no purpose other than completing a life cycle.
But tonight I’m wondering, not so much about death but more so about whether or not I will get any closer to the answers that I have about what we call life before my death. If I have to be honest with myself I’d have to say no. How many before had these same questions? Did they find the answers? If so, did they let anyone know?
I believe that is why I read so many spirituality books because I feel that the answer is out there in a book undiscovered or simply a book I have not yet read. It doesn’t sadden me that I probably will never find the answer but yet it does excite me in the search for it. We all are searching for something…I’m searching for a re-connection.
Some will probably find it weird but I’ve found peace in not knowing, I’ve found peace in accepting life as it is and yet I’m still searching . Ironic that you can be at peace but yet still require more. As if you want to prove yourself wrong. But Just like I’ve stopped placing my expectations on to people I have stopped placing my expectations on to life. I’ve decided that simply by living that everything will reveal itself when it supposed to.
I’ve decided that the purpose of life is to simply live it freely as one possible can. There are no rules to this. Society has made them up as we have evolved into our current form. What is the purpose of life? To live it how you so desire and I desire to live in the moment and to see the beauty in all that exist.
There might be better answers to the questions and there may be a better answer to what the purpose of life is, but right now thats the only answer giving me peace.
I’m a different thinker…and I can’t always express myself to those who know me but my friends always ask me, why are people so drawn to you? And I always say I don’t know but in truth? I believe its because I have something in me that they need…something that they can feel. And thats pure love for all people.
That type of energy is always felt and we all want to be connected to that and I believe thats why ALL people are drawn to me. Its taken me sometime to understand myself but because I asked myself the tough questions and searched deep for those answers I found part of what I needed.
My last thought for tonight before I close my eyes……I think that pure love is scary both to the one giving and to the one receiving. The only difference between attracting it or repelling it is either accepting it or not…