“I was on a path less traveled and decided that one day I’d look back and wonder if the path was really worth it, but then that day came and when I looked back all I could see was how far I’ve come”
I had that thought today when I was riding my bike to work this morning. The reason that I’m riding my bike to work is neither here nor there because all that matters is that whenever you are going through something unexpected you remain still, at peace and be. The good news is I get my car back next week but the even better news is that I’ve been really enjoying the rides. It has given me time to look back over things in my life that I haven’t been able to lately. It has also given me the opportunity to self reflect on present day.
There is a myth out there that we as human beings should not look back at the past, that we should only enjoy the present and look forward to the future. I agree with that statement for the most part but I pesonally believe that there is nothing wrong with looking at the past, what is wrong is living in the past. We are a special creation that has many abilities that are and has been taken advantage by us. One of these things is having this ability to look back at where we have come from and to see the growth that we have either made or not made.
Today I experienced another moment of clarity. I never badmouth people, companies or situations that have been part of my life. In fact I typically embrace every person or situation that shows up in front of me. Being new to an entirely new area for 7 months I sometimes think about where I’ve come from. Its not easy uprooting yourself and starting over wanting to and HAVING to make new friends, new co-workers and a new love interest(thats non-existent) to name just a few. But it has to be done and when I looked back today at the company that I left I realized this.
I spent 8 years with a company that I believed in and continued to stay with even after I felt like I wasn’t appreciated. I stayed with the company even after feeling like their was a racial issue in the company. What is even more interesting is the fact that I spent 8 years with a company just trying to break 37,000 a year. 8 years is a long time and while I was initially unsure about moving on, todays revelation help me re-confirm that it was the right decision in not only leaving that company but moving to a new place.
i’ve been with the new company for only 7 1/2 months and I’m already making equal to what I was when I was back in Virginia and I’m not working nearly as hard or as long. I look back at the days before I finally decided to move and I was a scared individual. I really did not know what was going tot happen, all that I knew was that I NEEDED to go. I had given up on physically changing peoples lives, I was tired, I was confused, I was lonely, I was a lot of things but I was never not at peace with myself. I was listening to ME but I wasn’t at peace with things outside of my control..not 100% and that needed to change.
I’ve come a long way from the guy that I use to be. It feels good to be able to look back at the past and see the growth that I have made as not only a man but as spritual being. There is nothing wrong with looking back, in fact I encourage everyone to look back and see whether or not they are growing or staying the same. Are you spreading your wings? Are you flying under the radar or are you not being seen? It is not okay to be stealth…to just blend in. Blending in is for the weak. I encourage to you stand out from those around you. Are you?
Thats my question to all of my friends and family or to anyone who is reading this. Are you showing up with movement or are you just there at the same spot you were the last time a full circle is completed? Are you standing out or are you just another statistic? Where is the growth in your life? What are you moving towards and away from? If you are anything similar to me then the thing you struggle with is not not knowing what you want its trying to fully understand the plan of attack to get there.
I didn’t understand the plan that I had for myself when I was going through my struggle last year. I knew what I needed and wanted to do but I couldn’t really see it. But today when I was riding my bike enjoying life I realized that even though I’m still trying to figure out how to bring all that I desire into one present moment I am truly at peace with myself and I can see the strength that I have gained in simply the 7 months of being here.
I encourage you to look back in your past and analyze your past journal entries and situations in your life just to see if you are the same or different(for better or for worse) and then change it, build upon it and grow closer to your authentic self. This is the only time when looking back is good….I’ve looked back and things feel good.